Afternoon Baseball

I get tons of spam mail in my school account, much more than even in the "spam" section of Gmail. I feel like Loyola sold all our e-mails to some sketchy company (and worried that my comment-in-jest is close to the truth).
Anyways, a year or two ago, I started reading through the spam filter because these subject lines crack me up. Apparently, all anyone wants is teen girls, 3 or 4 girls, Viagra, or super-saving mortgage refinancing -- all of which are unprecedented and guarenteed to blow your mind, at the least. It's almost an unspoken competition to see who can be the most outlandish.

And I thought, I should start up a "best spam e-mail of the day" feature on the blog-- that's a great way to waste a few minutes right?
But...it would be filthy, and probably get me red-flagged by Blogger. So I can't. Sigh.

I will share, however, my all-time favorite spam e-mail, from oh, a little less than a year ago. The subject line was merely: "Average Hoe."

I felt bad for that average hoe. She can't possibly compare with what all these other e-mails are offering me, and she clearly needs a better publicity agent. Even the honesty factor doesn't work (maybe she is average?) -- if you're going to be that sleazy as to seriously follow up on one of those e-mails, then you clearly are not searching for "average."
If only my cognitive powers were dedicated toward good...