Afternoon Baseball

Common-sense ruminations on baseball and culture.

HOT: The Yankees' bats -- sort of. Sure, they have trouble scoring anything but 2 or 12 runs, but as Baseball Musings points out, they have a .380 on-base percentage. And although Sheff has missed terribly a number of times, he's also destroyed two pitches for home runs. Jeter has an 11-game hit streak dating back to last year.

Michael Barrett of the Cubs. He's hitting cleanup, amazingly, and drove in three more runs tonight. The 29-year-old catcher, one of the dozens of successful ex-Expos from the 1990s, is at .385/.393/.808 with 3 HR and 13 RBI in 7 games and 26 at-bats. He's never hit more than 16 home runs in a season, although he's slugged over .480 in the stretch of 2004-05. He's got one-fifth of his career-high in RBI in fewer than 1/20th of the at-bats.
He'll obviously cool, but you gotta love him right now.

Greg Maddux. He'll only pitch six innings, but they're going to be good. He looked 29 going on 30, not 39 and 363 days, with 3 hits and 7 Ks for his second win. 320 wins for the professor, who has pitched 200 innings 17 times, including the strike year of 1994, where he averaged a full 8 innings in his 25 starts.

Bronson Arroyo. Two easy wins, two big home runs. Boston what? For all the fun I make of him, he's making the most of the betrayal the BoSox enacted by trading him.

Anna Faris
. OK, not a baseball player. But despite being in the Scary Movie, um, movies for what seems like forever, she's only 29. And a natural blonde. Plus, she provided the only real laughs of "Lost in Translation" with her perfect mocking imitation of actresses like Cameron Diaz.

David Wells. Wow. Just terrible. Maybe he's lost it -- he is 42. Maybe he just really wants to stick it to the Red Sox. Few pitchers better in his era (say, 1995, to 2005). But few bigger a-holes ever.

Pittsburgh. Wow, hope dies quickly. Worse yet, the Steelers won this year so the eight fans who normally get mad about the Pirates don't even care.

Barry Bonds. Ratings aren't great for his show, his power stroke is looking like Ruth's only if you count the year the Babe got syphillis (or, as lore has it, his "bellyache"), and worse yet, his head is still freakin' enormous. Holy hell. It has it's own gravitational system and atmosphere.

The rapper Proof. Dude, it's not about firing the first shot, it's about firing the last. Saddest thing is that he was actually the least-terrible member of D12.

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